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Submitted on
February 19, 2007




Journal Entry: Mon Feb 19, 2007, 3:33 AM
  • Mood: Neutral
i feel so weak lately...eating junkfood, not-sleeping and getting no idea...ok getting ideas but all the shootings we did last week were ...uhm...shit. i hated the results and wanted to delete it all. so much work and nothing goes right.

yes i am at the point asking me if i ever will be a good photographer cause other people of my age EARN 000 a year and i have nothing. not even on the bank. oh yes, minus at the bank. i am 25 and i want to be successfull. somehow.

i know you like my stuff here, but drops and so, that*s crap, that is not the photography the market asks for and it does not mean anything at all. i have some nice street shots and last night i browsed all my photos back to 2005 and i got the strong feeling that i was better last year. when i was just shooting for fun.

i need to get better or i will not earn money. my mum is worried anyway everbody said i was a good programmer and why i do not follow this profession. i need to prove them wrong.

have you been at that point? i feel depressed. i know i am just complaining and stuff, but what else do i have so say.

daily deviations:
like the wind - Umbrella by Finvara

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watch and welcome new deviant TheaP

Gimme gimme by Finvara see here…

falling 2 by Finvara see here…

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About the Photographer
this is the journal of 25-year old M.Hassold, currently absolving the first year of a 3-year-training as photographer. she is a professional computer-scientiest, and finished school with ABI in 2001 (Similar to Senior High School, with the possibilty to visit every College). She likes to draw from time to time, and most of all, she likes to watch things and take photos of everything she sees- as for her fav-shots of water and nature, you will find them here. she also takes analog shots and lomo-shots with one of her analog cameras. as for the diogital one, she uses the eos 350 d with the kit lens 18-50mm by sigma and 2 4-dioptries macrofilters.

My Website | <a href=">Buy Prints | <a href="/>Contact | Flickr | Myspace

Gallery © Marion C. Haßold. Photos, Illustrations and Art is not to be used unless you have expressed written permission. If you misuse, legal actions will be taken in every case.

Clubs I'm in...
Restless Photographers Stamp by mizzuae:thumb28991890:

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faerywitch Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2007  Professional Digital Artist
:D I feel like that all the time! I'm 29, I'm a grad student, going for a PhD in biology. Do you know how much money I make? Ha hahahaha!!! There is not one day in which I don't question myself as a biologist and as an artist. Every day I wonder if I'm good enough in both, if I have what is needed.
Lately I've been very demotivated, and I just have a hard time in being happy about my science and my art.
But if there is only one thing I can advice you is not to sell yourself to money. Give yourself to your believes, to your passions, to whatever you believe in, even if that belief is that you need to have a 'conventional' carrer. But NEVER give yourself to money. Money comes and goes, and at the end, it is not important, only what you've made of yourself, and what makes you truly happy.
One thing that many artists do is part their art in what lets them pay bills and what they like to do, and it usually works better than resigning to what they like.

Hop you feel better :heart: crisis can be very good, they force us to review our lives and hopefully take the irght desicion.

Finvara Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2007
omg you have a elfwood gallery great need to take a look loved the comics...thanks for your nice words and writing so much, i wondered about studying bio too, i am so interested in genetic stuff...your right about the money, i used to tell that people but seem to have forgotten myself what it means, saying it so often...i know a lot of poor people. hope i make the right desicion, the problem we have right now is that we do not learn as much as we need in our studio to be good photographers when we are ready, it is not easy for all of us- i have just discovered that our whole team has a hard time right now. maybe it is the stars or something who knows...i wish you the best, all we need to do is believe in being ourselvs ;)
faerywitch Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2007  Professional Digital Artist
We do :hug: i wish you the best too. As hard as it is to be yourself, remember how hard it is to live knowing that you've betrayed yourself.
MichaelMagin Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2007  Professional Photographer
ich kenne diesen punkt... darum bin ich froh mein geld mit etwas banalem zu verdienen und in der fotografie meinem hobby zu folgen :)

kopf hoch, wird schon besser :hug:
Finvara Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2007
danke...hoffs. gread heute könnt ich die cam an die wand schmeissen...alle bilder von heute komplett unscharf obwohl in verschiedenen modi geschossen (karneval) is mir noch nie passiert. hoff mal es lag an mir nicht an der cam wär nämlich die 2. die diesen monat den geist aufgibt
scientuslatens Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2007
I'm ashamed to even put any of my more serious stuff here on dA. I think we all go through that feeling of not doing anything right. Don't forget that just like when you smile through the phone, the other person can perceive that, if you are happy while working it shows. Cheer up, others (family, friends, and dA watchers) depend on you for positive energy. You are an inspiration those of us who are still honing our skills.

Besides I'm sure your mother just wants to see you happy.
Finvara Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2007
you are right...
popcorn-pops Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2007  Student Filmographer
Just keep trying. You'll be able to prove them wrong. We all have bad days, and we all have good days.

When I first joined this site, I had 0 watchers, but now i'm a lil over 20. So over time it gets better, and you learn more. Just never give up. :hug:
Finvara Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2007
S3BR4 Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2007
Hab ja auch Informatik studiert, aber nie abgeschlossen. Hatte fast nur Einser weswegen meine Mum mir immer noch böse ist :lol: als asbach uralter 30 jähriger Kerl ist meine Erfahrung das man gute Designs nicht erzwingen kann. Je mehr man sich unter druck setzt je mehr verkrampft man sich. Wenn man locker und unbefangen an die Sache geht, jetzt also ohne die Intention jetzt auf teufel komm raus Kunst machen zu wollen, gelingt einem viel mehr finde ich, weil man einfach weniger verkrampft ist, und auch nicht nur auf die Technik oder sich fragt ob das Motiv gut genug ist. Einfach machen, und entspannt dein Herz entscheiden lassen :nod: :aww: Klappt bei mir zumindest ganz gut...
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